Behavioral Conflict Management

Hello friends,
I have problem related to my shop. I have two employ in my shop. One of them say Mr.abc is little more experienced and working with me since 2 year.
Other is working with me since 1year say Mr.xyz. Mr. abc is becomming more dominant on Mr. xyz. Both of them are really very useful to me and also makes much profit for me. Also I am giving them nice pay. Mr.xyz doesn't like that Mr.abc becomes senior and dominant on him. Mr. abc want Mr.xyz to leave the job so he is doing such acts which tortures Mr.xyz. Also both of them cannot adjust and work as a team. I do not want any one to leave the job, but it is probable that Mr.xyz will leave the job. What can I do to solve this matter.

Solution:
For Xyz, ask him if it's ok with him to have a talk with Abc with you there.
When it's ok, ask him about specific behaviors (observable only) that affect him in a negative way.
When talking to Abc, it's important that Abc realize the specific acts that he did that affected Xyz.
These can be words that he said, specific acts that he did, etc. Once Xyz has enumerated them, have that discussion.

Start the discussion by stating that there appears to be some conflict between the two of them. Chances are, Abc will deny it. But as you proceed, state that at least there is an offended party.

Proceed then by allowing Xyz to state the facts.
Be sure to apply brakes when Xyz starts saying things about his feelings.

It is important that he stick to the facts. One behavior at a time. After each behavior is described, ask Abc if he remembers doing that. If he says yes, then ask Xyz how he felt when that happened. Then ask Abc if he would feel the same way if the same thing was done to him. If he says yes, ask Abc if he now understands how Xyz felt. If he says yes, you can proceed to the next behavior, and so forth.

If Abc says no in any question, don't proceed. If he doesn't recall the behavior, ask Xyz to elaborate further with details to make sure Abc recalls. If Xyz can present evidence, so much the better. If Abc says he will not feel the same way if that was done to him, simply tell him that the act offended Xyz and as a fact, damage has been done. If Abc says that he doesn't understand how Xyz felt, simply ask back "but didn't you just say that you would also feel bad if that was done to you?"

As for Abc's need to be respected. Give him that. He deserves it. Show him how valuable he is by reminding him that as a veteran of the company, it's his responsibility to care for the company's assets which include other employees. You might also want to tap him for other responsibilities that will make him feel valued.

The main objective of this exercise is to isolate the behaviors that were offensive. Even if you were not able to change their perspectives, at least you can ensure that those offensive behaviors don't happen again.

Should the behaviors recur, have a personal chat with Abc and reiterate that you don't want to see those things done again because it's causing harm to the other employee.

Tell Abc that if this happens again, it is now an example of disrespect to you as owner.

Some things to remember:
1. Some of the behaviors that affect Xyz may be too petty but add to the damage. In this case, ask Xyz how it offends him and if he says that this adds to the overall damage, tell him to stick to specific behaviors because once you resolve this, those petty behaviors may still occur and it's important that Xyz overcome this as well.

2. If Abc states his own issues, do the same thing with him as you did to Xyz. Stick to behaviors that offended him.

3. Maintain impartiality. Don't make any of the party’s feel you're on their side. Establish the stance that you are after resolving the conflict since you want them to work together.

4. After making sure that they have understood each other's sides, leave them to give them time to patch things up between them but without you present.

- Forwarded by Sanjay Sir (eMail)

Effective Presentation

When Apple CEO Steve Jobs kicked off Macworld 2008, he once again raised the bar for presenters everywhere. While most deliver information, Jobs inspires the audience.

The 10 most motivating elements to incite listeners are

1. Set the tone.
."There is something in the air today," Jobs projected to the crowd to open the Macworld conference. By doing so, he set the tone for his presentation and hinted at the key product announcement- the ultrathin MacBook Air laptop. While every presentation needs an angle, it doesn't have to be unveiled right away. Last year, Jobs waited until the 20-minute mark. When the time was right, he noted, "Today Apple reinvents the phone." Once you identify your angle, make sure to weave it throughout your presentation.

2.Demonstrate enthusiasm.
It's impossible to deny Jobs' passion for computer design. Next time you're crafting or delivering a presentation, think about infusing it with your personality. Most speakers get into presentation mode and feel as though they have to strip the talk of any character. Remember, your audience wants to be vowed, not put to sleep. The audience will follow your lead. So set an enthusiastic example

3. Provide an outline.
Jobs set expectations by noting, "There are four things I want to talk about today. So let's get started..." Verbally opening and closing each of the four sections helped to make clear transitions between talking points. For example, after revealing several new iPhone features, he said, "That [the iPhone] was the second thing I wanted to talk about today. Number three is about iTunes." Make lists and provide your audience with guideposts along the way.

4. Make numbers meaningful.
When Jobs announced that Apple had sold 4 million iPhones to date, he provided context for the figure. "That's 20,000 iPhones every day, on average," Jobs explained, "What does that mean to the overall market?" Numbers don't mean much unless they are placed in perspective. Connect the dots for your listeners.

5.Try for an unforgettable moment.
This is the moment in your presentation that everyone will be talking about. Every Steve Jobs presentation builds up to one big scene. In this year's Macworld keynote, it was the announcement of MacBook Air. To demonstrate just how thin it is, Jobs said it would fit in an envelope. Jobs drew cheers by opening a manila interoffice envelope and holding the laptop for everyone to see. What is the one memorable moment of your presentation? Identify it ahead of time and build up to it.

6. Create visual slides.
While most speakers fill their slides with data, text, and charts, great presenters do the opposite. There is very little text on a Steve Jobs slide. Most of the slides present one idea for the audience to walk away with. This is further supported by see-and-say syncing. For example, when outlining, "The first thing I want to talk to you about today," was accompanied by a slide with the numeral I. When he discussed a specific product like the iPhone, the audience saw a slide with an image of the product. Inspiring presenters are short on bullet points and big on graphics.

7. Give 'em a show.
A Job's presentation has ebbs and flows, themes and transitions. Including video clips, demonstrations, and guests creates the feeling that the presentation is more of a show than a lecture. Enhance your presentations by incorporating multimedia, product demonstrations, or giving others the chance to say a few words.

8. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Despite your best preparation, something might go wrong as it did during the Apple CEO's keynote. Upon attempting to show a few photographs from a live Web site, the screen went black. Jobs smiled and said, "Well, I guess Flickr isn't serving up the photos today." By moving forward and recapping the new features he just introduced, it was no big deal. Don't sweat minor mishaps. Have fun.

9. Sell the benefit.
While most presenters promote product features, Jobs sells benefits. When introducing iTunes movie rentals, Jobs said, "We've never offered a rental model in music because people want to own their music. You listen to your favorite song thousands of times in your life. But most of us watch movies once, maybe a few times. And renting is a great way to do it. It's less expensive, doesn't take up space on our hard drive..." Your listeners are always asking themselves, "What's in it for me?" Answer the question. Don't make them guess. Clearly state the benefit of every service, feature, or product.

10. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.
Steve Jobs cannot pull off an intricate presentation with video clips, demonstrations, and outside speakers without hours of rehearsal. Jobs rehearses the entire presentation aloud for many hours. You can see he rehearsed the Macworld presentation because his words were often perfectly synchronized with the images and text on the slides. A Steve Jobs presentation looks effortless because it is well-rehearsed.

Use this 10-part framework to wow your audiences. Many observers claim Steve Jobs has charisma. True. But he works at it. Nothing in his presentations is taken for granted. He studies the art of telling a story to inspire his audience. You must do the same to electrify your listeners.

- [About the Author: Carmine Gallo is a communications coach for the world's most admired brands. His book, Fire Them Up!, contains insights from top business leaders who inspire through the language of motivation.]

Laws of Spiritual Networking

"Spiritual networking is about understanding Everyone you meet: their needs, weaknesses and difficulties – rather than benefiting from everyone Whom you know".

And when you see how many people there are who are desperate and overburdened, who want to pick themselves up but can’t, their hearts are overcome with love and compassion. You ask yourself, how can I help those who are suffering and unhappy?

And that’s when you become aware of all the treasures inside yourself that have accumulated over so many years and now, one begins to draw on these treasures in order to give them away, and in doing so one realizes how much richer you yourself have become. "

Spiritual networking is about seeing how rich you are and sharing it with others rather than wanting to become rich through others.

Spiritual networking is about exploring your own inner contacts and resources rather than exploiting others resources and contacts.

Look forward to see you in an interactive session on

“Laws of Spiritual Networking”

By myself at Bandra MET this Monday 7th April from 6 45 PM onwards.

- Sanjay Sir (email)

SSY and me

Planning to blog my SSY experiance.
After long time finally attended the satsang yesterday. But now decided that I'll attend it every monday with Sonal. If possible with perents too. It's importent to focus on myself and satsang helps me do that. They keep discussing modern techniques to apply SSY teachings. Apart from my SSY progress I'm also going to share some of email that Sanjay sir will be distribute. I'm listening to Krish Prabhakr's CDs too. They are amazing and helps me turning inward. Will share thoughts from them too.